From Military Leadership to Real Estate: Navigating Life's Challenges and Finding New Purpose
I would like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt gratitude to Barbara (Babsi) Wilson for her exceptional guidance and support in helping me regain focus and realign with my goals. In 2024, I encountered significant personal and professional challenges, transitioning from leading a top-performing squadron to retiring to prioritize my family’s needs. A life-threatening medical emergency ultimately inspired me to pursue my long-standing aspiration of entering the real estate industry. Despite experiencing self-doubt and apprehension about leaving the military, I earned my real estate license and accepted a part-time role as a DoD contractor. Struggling with my sense of identity and unprepared for life outside the military, I connected with Babsi, a business coach, who helped me gain clarity on my goals, reframe limiting beliefs, and develop a strategic action plan for my new career. With her expert guidance, I regained the confidence to effectively serve my clients and realign my priorities, leading to a renewed sense of purpose and enthusiasm for the future.
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In 2024, I faced significant personal and professional challenges. I transitioned from leading a top-performing squadron to confronting a difficult decision: should I extend my military career in a different state, or prioritize my family’s needs? Despite my desire to continue serving, I could not justify leaving my family or subjecting my youngest child to his 11th school. After much consideration, I chose retirement. Over the following months, I encountered numerous physical and emotional hurdles, supported only by my family and a few close colleagues.
In April, I experienced a life-threatening medical emergency that I had delayed addressing to complete a short-notice task. After finishing the task, I was driven and carried to the ER by a base security forces member, where I underwent emergency surgery for ovarian torsion and a hemorrhagic cyst. What I initially believed to be a kidney stone turned out to be far more serious, and I was fortunate to survive. This experience was a turning point, prompting me to pursue my long-held dream of entering the real estate business.
Although I was excited, I also felt a deep fear of leaving the military. Despite my reservations, I enrolled in classes in May and earned my real estate license by early August. While my family celebrated this achievement, I was plagued with self-doubt and concerns about my future. One of my closest friends expressed skepticism about my goals, further deepening my uncertainty. Nevertheless, I pressed forward, even as I struggled to envision my post-retirement life.
In addition, I accepted a part-time position as a DoD contractor. In September, I received a welcome email that included the dress code, which made me realize just how unprepared I was for life outside the military. My wardrobe was limited to workout clothes, Bengals gear, and military uniforms. I struggled with fixing my hair, putting on makeup, and my communication style was steeped in military jargon to say the least. My supervisor had previously denied my request for SkillBridge and instructed me to sell back 60 days of leave. It was a difficult period; I felt overwhelmed, unprepared, and unsure of myself. I had a lot to overcome and very little time to do so.
After more than 20 years of dedicated service, I felt dismissed and irrelevant. I was in a dark place, emotionally isolated and grappling with profound changes. I went from being a high-performing leader to someone who felt displaced and adrift. My role in the military had been more than just a job—it had been my calling—and I was no longer fulfilling that calling.
In November, I met with a former colleague and his wife, Barbara (Babsi) Wilson, to show them houses. Following a couple of showings, Babsi shared that she was pursuing her real estate license, and we quickly realized we had much in common. I opened up to her about my struggles, and she, a business coach for women, offered to help me launch my own real estate business. We scheduled our first coaching session in early December.
At the start of our meeting, I was overwhelmed by disorganization and a lack of clarity about my future. Babsi, however, was prepared and guided me through the steps necessary to begin. She helped me define my life vision, set clear goals, and establish priorities. Through a series of exercises, she helped me identify my limiting beliefs and taught me how to reframe them into positive, actionable thoughts. We also developed affirmations aligned with my goals and values, creating a concrete action plan for building my business.
Over the following weeks, I implemented her plan and began shifting my mindset. I noticed a rapid improvement in my confidence. Whenever self-doubt crept in, I would pause and reframe my thoughts. Shortly after our first meeting, I received an urgent home search request from a Marine with limited time to find a house. Rather than doubting myself, I approached the task with renewed focus, as though it were a critical mission. We toured 11 homes across four different areas, from 7:30 a.m. until nearly 5:00 p.m. that evening. By the end of the second day, the client had found a home he liked, and he is now in escrow. Without Babsi's coaching, I’m unsure if I would have been able to rise above my doubts and challenges to provide the level of service this client deserved.
By the time of our second meeting on December 31, I had made significant progress. Babsi's ability to connect with me and help me clarify my priorities was transformative. For the past two decades, my priorities had been shaped by the needs of others—whether as a wife, mother, or military leader—but Babsi helped me understand what truly mattered to me. She helped me shape my business priorities while aligning them with my personal values.
After two sessions with Babsi, I have a clear vision for my future, well-defined goals, and a roadmap for achieving them. My long-term goals now excite me and rekindle the sense of purpose I once felt in the military. I am profoundly grateful for Babsi's guidance in helping me regain my focus, and I eagerly anticipate our next meeting. The future holds great promise, and I am ready to embrace it!
